Teenager Deprasion

I am nida and I am 16.Just like every teen girl. My bag is heavier than the factory workers! Did you know by lifting a heavy bag every day.

One could have cervical pain, poor body posture and back pain which leads to pressure. everyone in my house is similar to that of a normal family!

A dad who is always busy with work or the newspaper! an elder brother who troubles a lot and is also very loving.

What are you doing? a mom who is never done with the kitchen!

We do not differentiate between a boy and a girl at our house.

But our parents compare us to our cousins. report card.You are left behind by 2 marks! Have you seen your cousin Vicky? he has topped this year too!

I want your marks better than that.

This story does not stop at the comparison.There is a competition in extra-curricular activities too?

First in the Swimming competition and spelling competition! Why did you not participate in theater? Have you seen your friend farwa? She is an all-rounder!

Pressure x 2

I have always loved basketball and it is my favourite time pass! You can do better! Shoot on 3 points!

Along with the coach, even the teacher has expectations! You could get better than 95%

Pressure x 3

I have always been independent, I go up to the bus by myself! If mom is out, I make the roti myself! I help with the household chores too!

I also enjoy myself with my friends! but I do not know why, friends get so toxic sometimes...

That even nuclear plants will feel shy. You have gone so thin...I hope you are not sick! You look like a stick now! Instead of parks, it is parking lots now. The population is increasing and we keep getting lonelier.

Our timetables have started looking like the TATA company's CEO's timetable!

Come back by 3 and you have a history class at You have a class at 4:40 and at 5 you have a swimming class. You have art classes at 7, dinner at 8, and homework at 9. You can sleep at 10:30!

I forgot the piano class in your schedule! I have to schedule again now, Everyone expects us to keep growing like a stock of a good company.

How is it possible for a teenager to live with such expectations? Where will we even go? 

Pressure x infinity, and one day, the pressure ruined my head.

It felt like black clouds surrounded me from all directions. I stopped paying attention to the work. Now I do not feel like playing basketball too. Food wasn't tempting enough. No sleep at night You are still sleeping? Do you not want to go to school?

It is getting late. Get up now. No mood to get out of the bed in the morning. Tears were having their own field day. They wouldn't stop. Sometimes tears would drop in front of people!

How are you, farwa? I am fine! That is not even something to cry about? What was happening to me?

People referred to me as a strong girl. So I did not want anyone to think I am weak.

Hence, I kept acting to be fine, and pretended to be strong. I figured out how to stop my tears.I would look up while I was laughing.

Nothing much.Just something in my eye. is not like no one noticed. My brother who annoys me the most. He even asked a couple of times...

Nida, are you ok? You have been quite recently?

But no one teaches us to ask for help. We are told since childhood to hide our tears and weaknesses.

So I did the same. No brother, all is good! Tell me.. I told you there is nothing, Is this how you talk to elder brother? No this is how you do it. The lowly feeling never went away and these tears, I hate them...

They do not have the right to appear whenever they wish to! I kept having thoughts about hurting myself so I decided this time I have to figure this out..

Just like every teenage girl with internet access. I looked it up online! I wrote down my symptoms only to find out...

Depression?  What nonsense?  Why would I be depressed?

I do not agree! How can I be mental?

I am not crazy am I ?

Whether or not I am crazy was not in my control, The brain is a funny thing.

It obviously takes time to tell people but it takes more to convince oneself.

Denial! It is a strong thing. But my fate was on my side.

One day I saw a possession going... Mental health matters. When I spoke to them I found out someone from our society had killed themselves..

He was depressed too. Hence this group was educating other children about depression..

If you ever feel lonely, tell someone about it.

Mom,I need to talk to you about something. Tell me...

I know...You do not want to eat homemade food like your brother.

You wish to order fast food too. I know this...I am crazy right?

I work day and night to feed you. That is not the problem mom. I do not feel good these days.

I may need a psychotherapist. I think I am depressed!

You would lose your mind. You have to be mental! You are always on your phone! You used to play basketball but now you have stopped that too.

What do you even do in your room and why do you lay all day?

You do not speak or talk anymore. Back in our days we never heard the term depression..

I do not know what fashion your generation has got around?

Start praying and start your day well But no you would not do any of those things?

Do you wish to order fast food as well? right? Is that what you want?

Are you even going to tell me what happened? Can I eat in the room?

Room again? Fine go I will get it. Neither I could tell my mom nor I could eat.

Our parents expect a lot from us.They think we hide a lot and wonder how would we feel?

I did what every teenager does.

Didn't share anything with my parents. They will not understand and if they do, they will just be disappointed! Such bad grades?

You were a topper right?

Then what? I stopped going to school because of bad grades!

Today the teacher called me up...

You have not gone to school for the past 10 days.

Where are you even going if not school?

Have you made a boyfriend?

You are failing your class!

Bunking your school!

You aren't eating at home!

You never come out of your school!

Will you tell me what has happened?

For the first time, mom's scolding felt nice. This pain was better than what I was going through.

Maybe it was just my brother who was feeling bad and was feeling...

I know something happened...You are not this way..

Bunking and failing is not you nida...

Tell me what has happened and why are you so sad?

Tell me what can I do for you?

You can go away from here.

You can share with me...

But if you cannot find someone...

Someone who you can trust and share your feelings with

It will help you. Maybe my brother was right...

I should share my feelings with someone.

Where were you for 10 days?

You had asked me not to call home too... Are you mad? Have you gone mental?

Tell me!

I want to tell you something...

Yea?

I think... I do not feel good nowadays.

I am feeling quite low these days.

I feel there is no one for me...

No one will understand me.

My brain has stopped working...

I feel uncomfortable.

Then sadness takes over suddenly.

I think...

You have really gone mental!

You need to go to an asylum!

Guys, look she has gone mad!

Freaking stupid!

Why are you crying and not at school?

All of this has happened because of you!

"Share your feelings"

No one can be trusted! Do you understand?

nida, you can trust me!

Now tell me what has happened.

I am mental!

And have lost my mind...

It will be alright...

nida!

You were going through a mental health problem and you did not tell any of us?

The fault is not yours...

We must remove the word mental from mental health.

Crazy, Mental, and Mad, are used so commonly...

That these words have lost their meanings.

How can someone focus on mental health when the word starts with mental...

If you break your leg, people will sympathise with you.

But if you tell them you are not ok mentally!

People will call you mental...

Look we cannot change the world.

But we can change ourselves... The way our neighbour, subhan uncle talks about his heart attack proudly!

We must also talk about mental health proudly!

Truth is... We all are going through problems.

Sometimes these problems take over our mental health.

Technically we all should go to a therapist!

We should take care of our mental health as much as we take care of our physical health.

Whoever can understand that, it's great. Whoever can't, I hope they do understand someday.

Please understand one thing, All of us are with you!

Mom and dad will not get it...Mom thinks it is because of the phone

Even if they get it. It would make me feel, I disappointed them.

You can never disappoint us!

You were going through so much and you felt like you could not share it with us?

Actually, the fault is ours...

We, parents; talk more and listen less.

We assume since we were born before you, we know it all.

But the truth is,

We are all learning together...

I will try to listen more and you should try to share more.

From now onwards... we will try to learn together. I will take you to a therapist...

Let us fix it together, I promise.

I was lucky. That my brother and my parents were with me...

Everything doesn't get ok so quickly!

A few days are good and some are bad.

But having someone will help you with a journey of depression.

And I wish. If any of you are going through mental health problems...

Someone is there for you too.

But the most important thing is to support yourself.

To accept yourself!

Be proud to be mental

After all, we are all mental in some way...

Share your problems with your loved ones.

And do not go through this alone.