How Long It Takes To Change Your Life..?

 have you ever thought to yourself before going to sleep?

Tomorrow is the day i'll change.

tomorrow is the day i'll get up early in the morning have a healthy breakfast go for a morning jog breathe fresh air tomorrow is the day, i want to change to who i really want to be the best version of myself while change doesn't come easy you have to incorporate certain habits in your life that'll eventually lead to you becoming the best version of yourself you'll also have to eliminate certain habits that are hindering  your path well, how long will it take you to form a new habit or get rid of an old one most people will tell you it takes exactly 21 days for a person to form a habit or get rid of an old one ..

.

i remember once in high school one of my teachers told me it takes exactly 21 days, for me to form a new habit and i thought this is my chance to, become a bed maker i thought that for the next 21 days instead of getting up every day and yelling mom please don't forget to make my bed today, i thought i'd do it myself day by day early in the morning 6 a.m even on days,

i was running late, i got up every morning and i made my bed and i hated every second of it and by day 22, i opened my eyes and the first thing i did was say mom please don't forget to make my bed today i quit and of course that was expected and i thought okay maybe i'm just gonna be a little bit worse at life than bed makers whatever i do not exaggerate.

 

 if i say that this 21 day theory is the most famous myth in the world of self-development let's dive a little into our theory to understand where the number 21 came from and the reasons for its spread in self-developmental books and courses Dr. Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon in the 1950s when he began noticing a strange pattern among his patients for example in a nose job he saw that the patient took exactly 21 days to get used to start seeing his or her new nose he also noticed that if a patient had an armor leg amputated the patient would acknowledge the feeling of their new limb for exactly 21 days before starting to get used to their new condition dr maltz published his theory in a book that went very famous in that era and sold over 30 million copies and here the conflict started brewing and people and it made sense, You're in the room with someone you don't know, and you look across the room, you see a stranger, and you think, "I want to talk to this person."

And you can almost hear the first word but it just won't come out, it kind of gets stuck about here, it kind of goes up and down and you don't know ..

You know what?

Here's my advice: just say it. What's the worst that can happen?

They want to talk to you. Well, they're not talking to you now. The first word floodgates. I truly believe that the first word acts as a floodgate. You know, once you said the first word everything else just flows. So keep it simple. A "Hi," a "Hey," a "Hello."and do what every good bowler does. Just gather the enthusiasm, the positivist, the energy, put on a big smile and say, "Hi!"

I know. There's going to be that strange moment right now. Turn to someone sitting next to you, stick your hand out and say hello. Go on. But the moral of the story, really, is what starts

with a "Hello" can end with a marriage proposal and that is a warning.

Step three. 

Find the "me too"s. Have you ever met someone who starts a conversation like they're starting a debate?

"I am from Delhi." "I hate Delhi."

Yeah? Nothing kills a conversation like a negative.

When you meet someone for the first time make an effort to find the one thing that you and that other person might have in common. When you start at that point and then move outward from there, you will find that all of a sudden the conversation becomes a lot easier. And that's because both of you suddenly are on the same side of something and that's a really powerful feeling. 

Now, what could you possibly have in common with a stranger you ask? Could be anything, right?

You're both in the same place at the same time, maybe you're from the same country, maybe you both like the winter or you're longing for it to rain. I don't know, you'd find something.

When you find a "me too,"

you automatically have a kind of buy-in from the other person. Trust me, that's helpful.

Pay a unique compliment. I read somewhere that people will forget what you do, and they'll forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel. So be generous. and go out and give someone a nice full compliment. So, I have this belief about a "compliment immunity meter", and it comes from this experience I had when I met this gorgeous supermodel. and I look at her and I say, "Wow! You are beautiful!" And there is no reaction on her face.

And I think to myself, "How?"

That's when I realized, she is immune to the word "beautiful." She's probably heard it a hundred thousand times today. and if she's on social media, she's heard it a million times today. There are some words that each of us have developed an immunity to. It could be "nice," it could be "awesome," it could be "cool" ...

Stay away from these. Try and construct a compliment that's unique and genuine, and you don't have to lie.

Really.

When you look at someone and say, "I love how when you smile, it's like your nose smiles, and then your eyes smile, and your ears smile, even your forehead smiles and suddenly, the whole person is just smiling." You see, I hope that's a compliment you're not going to forget for a while. Pay a unique and genuine compliment. All of us have opinions; trust me and we all

 want them to be heard and everybody wants validation.

 

So go on and ask for an opinion, and that's when you open up a two-way street. That is when the real communication begins, and you will be surprised how much you can pick up about a person just by asking their opinion on something pretty generic. Here's a mistake that some people make. They ask your opinion about something really difficult. It feels almost intimidating. Somewhere in a room, full of very well-informed people, and someone was to come up to me and say,

"So what do you think about the way the prices 

have affected the real estate market in pakistan?"

I feel a bit cornered. I feel like I might fail, and this is an examination, and that's the lesson. Nobody needs to fail at a first-time conversation Just ask something simple. Keep it generic.

How do you like your coffee?

When did you watch your last movie? What did you think of it?

And when somebody gives you their opinion really listen. Don't listen to reply. Listen to listen.

There's a difference and that brings me to my next point.

Be present at the least you can do is really be in that conversation Just be wholeheartedly present, just be there and - oh! - my favorite part: make eye contact.

Trust me, eye contact is where all the magic happens. You can feel the conversation and trust me, when you are looking at someone in the eye, nine out of ten times, they will not dare look away, right?

Now, if only I could look into the eyes of 1.6 million people,

I would not have to worry about you guys tuning out during the ad breaks. That brings me to this, my favorite point because I think it's got a catchy name.Name, place, animal, thing.

You remember that game?

Remember the little details about a person. Remember their name. It's so important.

It's awful when you meet someone for 18th time, and you say, "You must be Paul, no Peter. Something with the P and it ends with ..."

It's terrible. Remember someone's name and say it back to them.

You have no idea how important you're making them feel, and that's not the only detail.

Remember all the other details as well. The places they like to go to, the places they've been to, the places they want to go to, their pet's names.

How their pet's been feeling lately? 

The things they like. Remember their children's names, that's such a winner.

Remember their wife's names, their girlfriend's names.

Just don't mix up the last two because that could be disastrous.

Remember these little things about people and repeat it back to them,

ask be genuinely interested,

and automatically you kind of become an investor in their well-being,

so they'll feel responsible to you to keep that conversation going.

There we go.

Seven amazing ways that you can make conversation with anyone, and seven reasons why you should use the break that's going to come up to talk to a stranger that you don't know.

I'm going to end with this analogy.

A conversation is like reading A B etc, You can read as long as you want, and you can read what you want, and every person, trust me, is a really good book and it saddens me so much

that entire human lives are being boiled down to 140 characters and catchy headlines.

Because that's not what we are not abridged versions. We are entire human stories.

We deserve more from each other, 

So what are you going to do in this big world we call the library?

Are you going to walk around, look at the hard bound copies and read the titles?

Or are you going to actually reach for a book, open a page and start reading a story?

You decide.